Trump’s Touted “Youth Apprentice Plan” Still A Mystery

Remember back in December of 2011 when Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump got together, and Trump announced with much fanfare that:

“We’re going to be picking 10 young wonderful children and make them ‘apprenti.’ We’re going to have a little fun with it and it’s going to be something that’s going to prove results.”

CorporateMal.com remembers it all quite clearly, as it seemed like an absurd publicity stunt by one of the least charitable rich people in the country. Nonetheless, I guess helping ten kids is better than nothing. Unfortunately, over a year later we can find no evidence of Trump starting an actual apprenticeship program to help anyone, anywhere.

So Donald what’s the good word? Were you in fact lying back in 2011 about starting a program for impoverished youth? If not, when is this program going to start? You clearly aren’t that busy as you’ve found more than enough time to continue with your thinly veiled racist claims regarding President Obama’s place of birth, sue Bill Maher over a joke, and pretend that beauty pageants are still even remotely relevant. You aren’t exactly spending your days finding a cure for cancer are you?

BTW, just in case you are confused, it is ok to help others when cameras are not present and there is no potential for personal financial gain. Millions of Americans manage to commit acts of charity and kindness in anonymity everyday and it actually works out pretty well for everyone.

Trump Cuts Child Poverty Rate From 16,400,000 to 16,399,990!

Billionaire Donald Trump, at the bequest of Newt Gingrich, has agreed to help ten poor children in New York City. As Trump explained it:

“He(Newt Gingrich) did mention if I could do something for some of the kids in very, very poor schools throughout the city. I thought it was a great idea. We call it an apprenticeship, and I think we all know about “The Apprentice.” We’re going to be picking 10, young, wonderful children, and we’re going to make them ‘apprenti.’ “

Unfortunately, according to US Census figures there were 16.4 million children living in poverty in 2010. As such, the Gingrich/Trump plan will only lower the number of children living in poverty from 16.4 million to 16.4 million minus ten in 2012. Not exactly a comprehensive solution to a serious problem. But at least as Trump points out, “We’re going to have a little fun with it”. Yes! Finally someone who understands that poverty can be fun, extra fun I suspect when you don’t have to worry where your next meal is going to come from.

Wouldn’t it have been more productive if Trump had simply taken $100 million of his own money and started a foundation to help poor children? For example, The Gates Foundation gives out over $3 billion every year. Yet while Bill and Melinda seem to only seek the spotlight when it is in the best interests of their foundation, I certainly would not be surprised to see Trump throw himself a parade if he ever actually put a penny in the tray instead of always taking one.

If you think I am being too hard on Trump, I am not, as his record of charitable giving is appalling. Check out why The Smoking Gun called  ”Trump: The Least Charitable Billionaire” and a “miser” based on its review of source material from his “charitable” foundation.

Also, what advice is Trump really going to give to children living in poverty?

  • Make sure you are born into a fabulously wealthy family, but, always pretend that you are a self made man.
  • Don’t worry about screwing up a business/marriage as you can always just file for bankruptcy/divorce. Repeat as necessary.
  • Always put “style” over substance.

As responsible adults, we should advise all children of New York City to be on alert for a shady looking guy driving around in a limo asking if you want to be an “apprenti”. If you see this man, avoid eye contact, run home, lock the doors and pray for the unfortunate ten children he will inevitably exploit for his amusement and further self promotion.